


They Keep Me Warm on Cold Nights

by blueeyedrichie



Series: My Boyfriend's Boyfriend [2]
Category: IT (Movies - Muschietti), IT - Stephen King
Genre: Aftercare, Alcohol, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - No Pennywise (IT), Angst, Angst and Fluff and Smut, Bottom Eddie Kaspbrak, Daddy Kink, Dom/sub, Dominant Richie Tozier, Eddie Kaspbrak is a Mess, Hurt/Comfort, I Want That Twink Obliterated, M/M, Masturbation, Multiple Orgasms, Overstimulation, Porn With Plot, Possessive Sex, Richie Tozier is Bad at Feelings, Semi-Public Sex, Smoking, Spit As Lube, Top Richie Tozier, Top Stanley Uris
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-10
Updated: 2020-05-10
Packaged: 2021-03-02 19:55:49
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 19,795
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24112408
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/blueeyedrichie/pseuds/blueeyedrichie
Summary: And Eddie wasn’t sure what Stan was trying to justify for him, but he clung onto his words even harder than he clung to Stan himself. He could hear himself trying to speak, to tell him what was going on in his mind, but it all came out garbled and broken, but Eddie wondered if he knew what those words were supposed to be anyway.~“I-” It came out broken, so he swallowed over the lump in his throat before trying again. “I don’t know why I’m here.”Richie let out a breath as if he’d been holding it, his eyes searching Eddie’s face.“You don’t need a reason.”
Relationships: Eddie Kaspbrak/Richie Tozier, Eddie Kaspbrak/Stanley Uris
Series: My Boyfriend's Boyfriend [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1739116
Comments: 53
Kudos: 133





	They Keep Me Warm on Cold Nights

**Author's Note:**

> welcome back y'all :') I humbly offer you 19k of sexy angst; this would take place before part one.
> 
> Just to be clear, while Stan and Eddie are not official yet, it could definitely be considered cheating on Eddie's part. So if that bothers you, then maybe consider not reading this.

After all this time, it still hadn’t gotten any easier.

It’s not like he didn’t _know_ that everyone would be here. Of course everyone would be here, it’s Beverly’s fucking birthday and honestly, it was nice to have all of his favorite people back together again. Plus all of Beverly’s new friends from the fashion world, but Eddie couldn’t really be bothered with that other than a few polite hellos.

His friends had all been busy with their careers and hadn’t been in town much as of late, excluding himself, Stan, and Richie. And even Stan was gone pretty often for conferences, but that was all coming to an end soon, because Stan’s new job was all but confirmed and he’d be starting at the end of the month. Eddie was still around full time, finishing up college. And Richie was, well. Still working at the radio station where he spent most of his time trying to write material for the few stand up shows he was able to land around town. 

But for the first time in a while, they were all together, and it was great. Except for the way Richie was clearly determined to ruin Eddie’s life. Not that Eddie had done much to prevent it.

From the moment he’d walked in, Eddie’s skin was simmering beneath his clothes. And yeah, that was partly his own fault for thinking he could handle casually sleeping around with not only one, but two - the only two - men he’d had feelings for since their clubhouse days.

But Richie just wouldn’t fucking _stop._ No matter how far apart in the room they were, he could feel Richie’s eyes on him. And when they did come near each other, it was always with a brush of the hand or standing just that little bit too close or leaning around to whisper something in his ear that had him feeling weak in the knees. Not to mention, Stan was almost always right fucking there, seemingly oblivious to it all.

And that made Eddie feel bad. Like, really fucking guilty. Because Stan trusted him completely. Never questioned why Eddie was suddenly red in the cheeks or chewing on his lip like he wanted to gnaw it off. Always just asked, _are you okay, love?_ and Eddie would give him a reassuring smile and a kiss on the cheek and Stan would let it go.

They weren’t officially dating yet, but Eddie knew it was on the horizon. And part of him knows that’s why Richie’s been more persistent lately. He was certain that once Stan’s new job was solidified and he was done traveling, he was going to ask Eddie to be his boyfriend. It was already accepted throughout their friend group that they were together, and Eddie loved Stan. He was stable, smart, and so, so sexy. Eddie found himself admiring the other man constantly. He was everything Eddie needed.

Well, almost everything.

Because Eddie just couldn’t let some things go. And one of those things was staring at him right now, with those piercing eyes that unraveled Eddie all on their own. Stan was off talking to Mike, now, so Eddie didn’t even have that deterring him. Not that it ever really seemed to work, anyway.

Richie smirked at him from across the room, his fingers wrapped around the nearly empty glass in his hand. Bill and Ben were standing with him, but Richie was clearly uninterested in whatever they were talking about. Eddie glanced over to Stan, who was laughing with Mike, and Eddie couldn’t help but smile at the sight. But his gaze quickly moved back to Richie, who was ditching his glass and dragging his palm over his mouth, and Eddie needed to get the fuck out of this room. He didn’t miss the way Richie winked at him before he turned to walk much too quickly to the bathroom.

He let out a breath once he was safely inside, a tiny wave of relief washing over him when he discovered it was a single rather than a shared bathroom. The relief was short-lived, someone knocking just as he flipped the lock.

“S-someone’s in here, just hang on.” He scoffed quietly at himself when he heard his own shaky voice.

“Open the door, baby.” Richie’s voice ordered softly from the other side of the door, and Eddie did not have the willpower to stop himself from immediately yanking the door open and allowing him inside.

Richie pushed it shut again, flipping the lock and turning to Eddie. An anxious thrill settled deep in Eddie’s stomach, wondering what the others would think if they saw them come out of here together.

“Wait, wait. If someone sees us… Richie, you need to leave.” Eddie put a hand on Richie’s chest, urging him back toward the door, which was where he went wrong. Because the moment Richie’s long fingers curled around his wrist and pulled him closer so their bodies were flush, Eddie’s resolve vanished.

“You’re so worked up, baby; I just want to help you out.” Richie’s voice melted in his ears, and he didn’t even realize they were moving until his back hit the wall opposite the door and Richie was pressing himself against him. 

Richie grinded their hips together, drawing a moan from Eddie when he felt how hard Richie already was in his jeans.

“Richie, everyone is out there.” The words lacked any conviction, and he yelped when Richie’s hands came around to his ass, lifting him up. His legs wrapped around Richie’s waist with ease, their faces only inches apart. He gripped onto Richie’s shoulders, desperately trying to find anything resembling self control inside of him. The feeling of Richie’s tongue in his mouth gave his search pause.

Eddie’s arms slid around Richie’s neck and he felt himself rocking against the other man, panting into his mouth. It was always like this, he could never control himself with Richie. And he fucking _loved_ it.

“You wanna stop?”

Eddie whined as Richie moved his lips down to his neck, his body sliding down slightly when Richie moved his hands to the button of Eddie’s pants, making quick work of it and the zipper. He brought his lips to Eddie’s ear, his warm breath sending shivers up Eddie’s spine.

“Eddie.”

Richie pulled Eddie’s pants down over his ass, his hands kneading into the soft flesh. Eddie moaned, shaking his head as it fell back to rest against the wall.

“Tell me what you want.”

He definitely didn’t have time to get into that. What the fuck did he want? What he wanted more than anything was to not feel guilty for wanting this. For wanting Richie and for also wanting Stan. He knew he was selfish, knew he should have ended this… whatever it was with Richie a long time ago. But when he lifted his head and looked into Richie’s eyes, intense and dark and making his breath hitch just like they did every other fucking time, he couldn’t care about feeling guilty or knowing how wrong it was. Because how could this be wrong? When they both made him feel on top of the fucking world.

“I want you, Richie. Fuck, please-” A gasp interrupted him when Richie dug his fingers into the skin of Eddie’s ass, his eyes even darker now as he pressed his forehead against Eddie’s.

“Wanna try that again?”

Eddie swallowed hard, trying to drop his hips down against Richie’s hands or his hips or fucking _anything,_ and he couldn’t help but close the gap and press their lips together before he obeyed.

“I want you, Daddy. Please?”

Richie brought one of his hands up, shoving two fingers into Eddie’s mouth. Eddie eagerly began licking over them, a little voice in the back of his mind frantically trying to remind him that they were not alone, and that someone would come looking for one, if not both of them, any minute. Richie pressed them down on his tongue, peppering kisses over his cheek and jaw as he moved his fingers over it. Eddie moaned, pulling Richie closer where he held tightly around his neck.

The hand that was still holding him up squeezed hard, spreading him open as he pulled his fingers from Eddie’s mouth and brought them down, pressing firmly against his rim as he pressed their foreheads together again, staring into Eddie’s dark eyes. Eddie was barely able to hold the gaze once Richie pressed both fingers inside, not hesitating at all in pushing all the way in to the knuckle. Eddie cried out, his hips jerking back against the sensation, Richie’s fingertips already brushing lightly over his prostate.

Moans fell steadily from Eddie’s lips when Richie started moving, hitting that spot inside him with each thrust. And he knew he was being too loud and they were taking too long and this was such a fucking _stupid_ idea, but that didn’t stop him from using what little leverage he had to rock down against Richie’s fingers and let his eyes plead to Richie for more.

“Keep it down, sweetheart; wouldn’t want your boyfriend to hear you.”

Eddie fucking hated the moan he let out at that, the way Richie’s words had electricity zinging up his spine, the way his cock twitched at the little chuckle Richie let out.

“He’s- we’re not official yet, you know that.” Eddie gasped out the weak justification, clutching on tighter when Richie started rubbing rough circles against his prostate.

“Yeah?” His voice was on Eddie’s ear now, making his head fall back against the wall. “What happens when you are?”

A third finger pressed inside him, and he knew he was going to come soon. But his pants were still trapping his cock, and he didn’t need to try to explain a stain on the front of his gray chinos.

“Daddy, please; I can’t- I can’t come in my pants.”

“Why, baby? ‘Cause everyone will know you let me take you apart in the bathroom?”

Sure, everyone. But mostly Stan.

“Please, Daddy, _please_.” 

“You didn’t answer me.”

Eddie whined desperately at the words, feeling Richie’s teeth graze over the shell of his ear.

“Wh- what?”

Somehow Eddie managed to hold in his terrified yelp when someone knocked on the door. Richie brought the hand that wasn’t inside him up to press over his mouth, letting Eddie sink down further onto his fingers. Eddie’s eyes rolled back, a muffled sound escaping him.

“Occupied.” Richie announced simply, pushing hard into Eddie.

“Richie? Is Eddie with you?”

The sound of Stan’s voice had Eddie’s eyes shooting open, looking desperately at Richie. This was it, he’s caught. Stan would never want to fucking see him again once he knew what he’d been getting up to. Tears stung the backs of his eyes as he held onto Richie, just waiting for the inevitable. Richie looked almost despondent as he stared back into Eddie’s eyes. It was replaced quickly by something devious, however, and Eddie forced himself quiet when Richie’s fingers started moving again.

“Yeah, Stan. He spilled something on his pants, had to come help him clean up.”

Stan said something in reply, but Eddie couldn’t take the time to listen when Richie thrusted hard into him over and over, and he held his hand firmly against Eddie’s mouth when his orgasm shook through him, muffled moans trying to make themselves known behind the muzzle of Richie’s fingers.

“Quiet, sweet boy.” Richie whispered before dragging his lips over Eddie’s jawline.

“...Eddie? You okay?”

Eddie was panting the moment Richie pulled his hand away. He opened his eyes when Richie gripped his chin, pulling his face down and staring at him with a twinkle in his blue eyes.

“Answer your man, baby.”

He licked his lips, trying to speak clearly with Richie’s fingers still buried inside him.

“Y- yes! I’ll be right out, Stanley.” 

“Okay. I have to talk to you about something.”

Fear washed over him, his eyes wide as he stared into Richie’s.

“What is it?”

“I’ll meet you at the bar, okay?”

“O-okay!”

Richie pulled his fingers out, drawing a whimper from Eddie before tugging his pants back up over his ass and gripping his thighs, helping him to stand back up.

“What the fuck? What the fuck, Richie! Does he fucking know?” 

Richie reached a hand into his own pants to adjust his cock, and Eddie could fucking see how hard he was in his jeans and _fuck_ that is not what he should be thinking about right now. He moved over to the mirror, checking to see the damage. Luckily, most of it was contained to his briefs, so he cleaned up what he could with paper towels and only had a light stain on the front of his pants, which he put some water on. Mostly because Richie decided to fucking say he spilled something and it would look pretty suspect if he walked out there with nearly dry pants. 

He splashed some cool water on his face and tamed his hair before turning back to Richie, who was still visibly hard despite the adjustment and wearing a smug look on his face.

“I’m sure he’s just gonna propose or some shit.” He pulled his cigarettes out of the pocket of his jacket, receiving a look of disbelief from Eddie before rolling his eyes and putting them back.

“We’re not in fucking high school anymore, you seriously still smoke in bathrooms?”

“It’s not like we’re old men, Eds. Why? You miss high school?”

Eddie let out a frustrated groan, turning back to the mirror. He gasped when Richie came up behind him and wrapped his arms around his middle, locking eyes with him in their reflection.

“Do you remember?”

“I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

Richie’s hand moved down to cup Eddie, drawing a shaky breath from him. His head lolled back against Richie’s chest, and he cursed his body for reacting so easily. The mischievous curve of Richie’s lips had sparks lighting all over Eddie’s skin.

“Yeah? You don’t remember bouncing on my cock like your life depended on it? Couldn’t even get your gown off. You looked so cute in that cap and gown, baby. I’ll never forget it.”

“Richie…”

His lips were on Eddie’s ear, pressing gentle kisses that had goosebumps flooding his skin. He needed to get the fuck out of here.

“We’ll finish our talk later. Go find out what Stan wants.”

“What talk?”

“I asked you a question. You still haven’t answered.”

_What happens when you are?_

“I- I’m staying at Stan’s tonight.”

Richie’s hands wrapped around Eddie’s hips, pulling him back against himself. Eddie whimpered at the feeling of Richie grinding against him, breath ghosting over the side of his face. He was dangerously close to getting hard again and _fuck fuck fuck_ they’ve been in here for so long. Eddie spun around in his grip, giving him a pointed glare that almost melted away completely at the sight of Richie’s eyes on him.

“We’ll see.”

Eddie furrowed his brow, sighing softly when Richie’s hand came up to lift his chin, leaning down to press a chaste kiss to his pink lips.

“Get out of here before I fuck you up against this sink.”

A tiny moan fell out of his mouth and against Richie’s lips at the command, and he pressed another kiss there before taking a deep breath and leaving the bathroom. Richie stayed behind, and Eddie wasn’t sure which high school pastime he planned to relive in there, smoking or jerking off. Both, probably.

He spotted Stan at the bar immediately, a drink in each hand as he spoke with Bill. Eddie pulled on a smile and tried to act as normal as he could, but it wasn’t easy when he could still feel the ghost of Richie’s fingers inside him.

“Hey, love.” Stan’s casual greeting had Eddie deflating a bit, and he took the drink he offered him before pressing a soft kiss to his lips.

“Hey. What did you want to talk about?”

Bill excused himself with a smile. Panic settled heavy in Eddie’s belly when Stan set his eyes on him. He glanced down at the stain on Eddie’s pants, but Eddie shook his head dismissively, urging him to continue.

“I just got a text from my boss. Apparently, things are moving faster than we thought.” Stan’s eyes lit up in excitement, and Eddie smiled at him, already knowing where this was going. “There’s a conference this weekend, so I have to go out of town for a couple days, but he said my position is nearly confirmed.”

“Stanley, that is so amazing!” Eddie beamed at him, and the happiness on Stan’s face warmed him from the inside out.

Stan took Eddie’s drink, setting it along with his own on the table behind them. He slipped two fingers into one of the belt loops on Eddie’s pants, tugging him toward himself so they were pressed flush together. Eddie gasped, throwing his arms around Stan’s neck as he looked up into his eyes.

“I was thinking we could celebrate tonight, before I go?”

Eddie’s whole body tingled at the way Stan’s voice dropped low, his eyes fluttering down to his lips.

“Absolutely.” He leaned up and pressed a kiss to Stan’s lips, Stan’s hands linking around his waist. “I’m so proud of you, Stanley.”

Stan brought a hand up to caress Eddie’s cheek, their lips still touching as he spoke. “Having you by my side has been everything, Eddie. You- you mean everything to me.”

Tears welled up too quickly for Eddie to stop them, leaning into Stan’s touch as one rolled down, wetting Stan’s palm. The amount of love and tenderness behind Stan’s cloudy blue gaze had Eddie’s heart threatening to leap out of his chest. Eddie kissed him again, holding him tightly in an attempt to convey the amount of love he held inside him that they’d not yet been able to verbally express. And as he kissed him, his knees wobbling when Stan’s tongue peeked out to lick over his bottom lip, Eddie let more tears fall as a sickening pang of guilt cast over him, and he knew he had to be better for Stan. He had to be the person Stan deserved to be with, that deserved Stan’s love. And he would be, he would take this weekend alone to sort his shit out. And he would stay the fuck away from Richie. 

“You two should get a room. Bathroom’s available. Spacious, too.”

Eddie startled at the sound of Richie’s voice, pulling away to look at him. He wiped his tears away on the cuff of his sleeve, laughing softly when Stan brought a hand to Eddie’s chin, tilting his face up and silently asking if he was okay. Eddie nodded, stepping back and grabbing his drink from the table, moving to Stan’s side, away from Richie.

“Stanley is getting the job, Richie.”

Stan wrapped an arm around Eddie’s waist as he grinned at Richie, grabbing his own drink off the table. 

“I am. And hopefully once I’m back, we can make some more things official.”

Eddie didn’t miss the pained expression on Richie’s face at Stan’s words, but he quickly regained his composure and put on a smile. Eddie rested his head on Stan’s shoulder, his eyes staying on Richie.

“Well, damn, Stan. That’s awesome. Good for you, man.” Richie clapped a hand on Stan’s shoulder, giving him a toothy grin that didn’t reach his eyes. “Finally done with all those business trips, I take it?” Eddie’s eyes widened at the question, every fiber of his being alight in fear that Richie would do something stupid.

“Just one more. I leave tomorrow and come back in a couple days.” Stan held Eddie closer, pressing a kiss to his hair. “We should all get together once I’m back before the others have to leave again.”

Richie glanced down at Eddie, his face unreadable as he stuffed his hands into his pockets.

“Sounds great, man. I’ll be there.”

“Thanks, Richie.”

The others started making their way over, congratulating Stan and enthusiastically agreeing to celebrate when he got back. And the whole time Eddie could feel Richie’s eyes on him, and when they all moved to sit at one of the large tables, he wanted to fucking scream at Richie for sitting next to him. He wanted to kick him under the table when he put his hand on Eddie’s thigh while Stan was distracted talking to Bill. He wanted to melt and seep between the floorboards when his hand moved higher, coaxing Eddie to look at him, asking him too many questions in that piercing blue gaze that Eddie just didn’t have answers to.

_What now? Will I see you this weekend? Are you going to say yes when he asks you to make it official?_

_What does this mean for us?_

_Is it over?_

It was all too much, the heat of Richie’s hand and the weight of the uncertainty and he just needed to get out of here. Because Richie made him feel too many things with such intensity that he felt like he was drowning in it.

But the worst part was, he couldn’t get enough. He wanted to drown in Richie and be brought back to the surface by Stan over and over again. Time was running out though, and he had to decide if he wanted to stay above the water or sink into its cool depths.

Richie tugged his hand away suddenly, and Eddie gave him a confused look as he lifted his glass to his lips, his eyes drifting. When he felt a warm breath on his ear, he knew why.

“Ready to go?”

Eddie turned to Stan, his dark eyes making Eddie’s breath catch in his throat.

“Yes, please.”

They stood, saying their goodbyes and making promises to see each other when Stan returned. Eddie avoided Richie’s eyes, lacing his fingers with Stan’s and tugging lightly on his hand. Stan smiled, probably thinking Eddie was urging him to move faster so they could get home. Which was true, but mostly he needed to be as far away from Richie as he possibly could. And he managed to not look at him the whole time, right up until he and Stan were walking out the door. But he was weak, and when he looked over his shoulder at the last minute, his heart slamming against his ribcage, Richie was still watching him.

Eddie had never been more thankful in his life to listen to Stan babbling about how excited he was about his new job. He nodded along, encouraging him to continue any time there was a pause. Because he was so happy for him. But he also needed the distraction, and he needed Stan not to do what he knew he was going to.

_Will you be my boyfriend, Eddie?_

When they arrived at Stan’s, he placed a soft kiss on Eddie’s lips before they left the vehicle, and it felt like everything was moving so slowly as Stan unlocked the door and they entered the house, everything cast in a buttery yellow glow from the setting sun. Stan’s home was Eddie’s favorite place to be. So clean and quiet and cozy. And he knew that one day, he’d probably be living here. He might as well have been already, his own apartment holding only furniture and bare essentials at this point.

They kicked off their shoes and Stan tossed his keys onto the little table in the entryway before turning to Eddie, lifting his hands to cup his cheeks. Eddie sighed contentedly, his own hands coming to hold onto Stan’s forearms. The way he was looking at Eddie had his heart racing with love, but the panic returned when Stan started speaking.

“Baby, I’ve been meaning to talk to you about something.”

Fuck fuck _fuck._ Not now. He’s supposed to do it after. When he comes back. After Eddie can have one last night…

The only thing he could think to do was kiss him, so he did. He pressed up on his toes and dug his fingers into Stan’s arms and kissed him hard. Stan made a surprised sound in the back of his throat but fervently returned the kiss, taking Eddie’s breath away. And he was sure it was working, so sure that he let out an alarmed whimper when Stan pulled away, pressing their foreheads together.

“Eddie…”

“I don’t wanna talk, Stanley.” He moved his arms around his shoulders, pressing small kisses to his lips one after the other. “Please, I just- I need you right now.” 

He needed Stan to kiss him and touch him and help him forget about everything else, forget about the _shame_ that was threatening to burst out of him at any moment. He pushed his body flush to the taller man’s, slotting their mouths together again with a moan.

It seemed to be enough this time, because Stan’s hands fell from his face to the small of his back, holding him close as he slid his tongue into Eddie’s mouth.

Everything still felt like it was in slow motion, like he couldn’t move quickly enough. He couldn’t get close enough and he felt tears stinging the backs of his eyes because he didn’t know what to do with all the emotions that were swirling around inside him.

So he started moving, pulling Stan with him blindly into the living room and falling back onto the couch when it hit the backs of his knees. Stan went easily, landing on top of Eddie with grace that only Stan could ever have. Eddie maneuvered so his legs were on either side of Stan’s hips, sliding his hands into his curls. Stan groaned into the kiss, dragging his tongue over the roof of Eddie’s mouth.

Stan rocked his hips down, and Eddie tossed his head back when he felt Stan’s cock against his own. He moved to Eddie’s jaw and down his neck, pressing gentle kisses after each little bite. There was truly nothing Eddie loved more than the way Stan always took his time, so much care and desire behind each lick and press, but Eddie was desperate; desperate for Stan to just overwhelm him and get him so high that once he came down they could fall asleep and he could pretend that everything was fine, that he wasn’t one wrong move away from destroying everything good in his life. So he reached for Stan’s shirt, shakily undoing the buttons while Stan sucked the skin just below Eddie’s ear into his mouth.

“Why so eager, love?”

He whined when Stan’s voice hit his ear, a hand slipping under the hem of his sweater to press hot against his skin. Eddie rocked up against him, drawing a soft moan from the other man’s lips. He managed to get all the buttons undone, immediately pressing his palms against Stan’s chest, sliding up to his shoulders in an effort to push it from his body. He leaned back, pulling it off and dropping it to the floor. Eddie used the opportunity to tug his sweater over his head, his hands then finding their way to Stan’s belt, tugging it open urgently.

“I just- I want you, come on, please?”

“We don’t have any lube down here, baby.”

“I don’t care. I don’t fucking care.”

He got his pants undone, slipping a small hand inside his boxers and wrapping his fingers around him. Stan groaned, bucking into his hand when Eddie started stroking. Stan looked down at him with half lidded eyes, bringing his hands up to undo Eddie’s pants with deft fingers. He leaned down, pressing his forehead against Eddie’s as he slid a hand inside his briefs, stroking him gently.

“You want me to open you up with my mouth?”

Eddie moaned loudly, arching up into his touch. Stan pressed kisses to the underside of his chin when his head tilted back, his tongue darting out to lick his way into the hollow of Eddie’s throat.

“ _Yes._ God, yes.”

He felt Stan’s chuckle more than he heard it, and goosebumps rose all over his body as Stan worked his way down, his tongue dragging over Eddie’s nipples on the way, making him cry out. Eddie’s hand slipped out of Stan’s pants when he moved down, so he clutched onto his shoulders instead. Stan’s lips left searing kisses all over his belly, his hands moving to Eddie’s waistband, carefully pulling his pants and underwear off. He scooted back, dropping the clothing to the floor once it was removed. He lifted Eddie’s leg to rest on the back of the couch and moved the other to rest on his shoulder. He took a moment to admire Eddie’s naked form. Eddie felt a hot blush blooming on his cheeks and quickly making its way down to his chest, still feeling embarrassed under his gaze no matter how many times they’d been like this.

“You are so fucking gorgeous, Eddie.” His hand moved up and down Eddie’s thigh where he held it on his shoulder, keeping his eyes on Eddie’s as he pressed a kiss to the inside of his knee, working his way down slowly to where Eddie needed him most. “So perfect.”

“Stanley…” He whispered, his hands moving up to hold tight to the small pillow behind his head, his cock twitching where it leaked on his stomach as Stan continued his travels. And he wanted to say something, too. Tell Stan how beautiful he was, how amazing he made him feel. But he knew that if he tried, he would start crying, so he just arched his hips and wailed when Stan’s lips pressed firmly against the head of his cock.

He licked over the length of him once, his hands pushing Eddie’s thighs up further to spread him open. Eddie whimpered when he felt Stan’s breath against his hole, and a tiny wave of fear zapped through him when he realized that Stan might be able to tell that he’d already been opened up earlier. He swallowed hard over the lump in his throat, trying to form a believable lie, but it was all forgotten when the tip of Stan’s tongue slipped between his cheeks, teasing at his rim and drawing a choked cry from deep inside Eddie.

Stan’s hands slid down to Eddie’s ass, pulling his cheeks apart as he laved over his hole, groaning against the soft flesh. Desperate noises were being punched from Eddie with every flick of his tongue, one of his hands flying down to weave into Stan’s curls, urging him to give him more, to get deeper. He obliged, his tongue diving inside Eddie, pressing against his warm walls.

“ _Fuck_ , Stanley, holy fuck,” he gasped, his other hand coming down to squeeze around the base of his cock as he felt heat boiling deep in his belly. He could feel the sounds Stan was making vibrating against him, radiating through his whole body. The way Stan took such care in pleasuring him always had Eddie overwhelmed, and he felt warm tears spill over and run down his temples, wetting his hair as he rocked his hips down, desperately trying to get Stan to fuck his tongue in harder. He kneaded his cheeks in his hands firmly as he thrusted, every so often pulling out to lick around the outside.

As amazing as it felt, he was impatient and he just wanted Stan inside him, because that was the only thing that ever shut his brain off. So he yanked harshly on Stan’s curls without really thinking about it, tucking his lip between his teeth to hold in the needy yelp that wanted to come out when Stan dug his nails into his skin at the sensation.

“Jesus.” Stan sat up, wiping over his mouth with the back of his hand. He stood up to shove his pants off before settling back between Eddie’s legs and kissing his way up to his neck, settling on his ear and pressing a kiss there. “You want it rough, baby?”

Eddie nodded, gasping when the head of Stan’s cock bumped up against his hole, only to be pulled away and replaced by his fingers. 

“No.” Eddie pleaded, reaching down to wrap his fingers around Stan’s wrist to stop him. “Please, please just fuck me.”

Stan’s eyes visibly darkened at Eddie’s words. It was pretty rare that Stan was ever rough with Eddie, always so in control and calculating in his movements. Even when he was, it was still doused with gentle caresses and loving kisses, never the way it was with… someone else.

He let go of Stan’s wrist, moving to wrap around his cock instead. Stan groaned against his neck, his teeth grazing over the soft skin there while Eddie rubbed the head against his spit-slick hole.

“I just wanna feel you, Stanley. Please?”

Stan lined himself up, one hand holding Eddie’s hip and the other wrapping around the back of his neck. Eddie’s fingers wound into his curls once more as Stan pushed in, their mouths sloppily pressed together as he breached him.

Eddie whimpered with the slow drag of Stan’s cock, the burn sending shivers up his spine. He gasped in tiny breaths over and over as he slowly filled him, his legs wrapping around Stan’s waist once he bottomed out.

“Fuck, baby. So fucking tight for me.”

He used his legs to pull him in deeper, tears still streaming down the sides of his face as his body gave under the other man.

“Please, just-”

Stan pulled out and thrust back in, Eddie’s fingernails digging into his scalp as he threw his head back on a moan. Stan buried his face against Eddie’s shoulder, licking and biting in between groans. He brought the hand that was on Eddie’s neck down to hold onto both sides of Eddie’s hips as he picked up pace, pulling out fully each time before slamming back in. The head of his cock hit Eddie’s prostate nearly every time, pulling choked whimpers from the back of his throat.

And it felt so fucking good, it always felt so good with Stan. The burn was subsiding as he kept up his fluid movements, but he didn’t want that. He wanted it to hurt. Just a little. Just enough to forget the thing that _too much_ would remind him of.

He yanked on Stan’s hair _hard_ , drawing a surprised sound from him as he lifted his head to look into Eddie’s eyes, a flash of concern floating around in his gaze.

“Are you-”

“I’m fine, I’m-” He keened when Stan paused his thrusting to grind in deep, Eddie’s eyes rolling back as his cock pressed firmly against that spot inside of him. Eddie dropped his arms from Stan’s hair to lay limp beside his own head, looking desperately up at him. “Just- harder. I need more, Stanley.”

Stan’s hands moved up to wrap around Eddie’s wrists, pressing them down into the cushion at the same time he slotted his lips with Eddie’s. He kissed him tender and slow, and Eddie rocked his hips up, his thighs quivering where they were trying to get him to move. He pushed down harder on Eddie’s arms as he pulled out and thrusted back in, his pace now quicker and getting so much deeper. Eddie cried out against Stan’s lips, trying and failing to draw his legs up higher to encourage him. Stan must have known what he needed, because he released his hold on Eddie’s arms and placed his palms on the backs of his thighs instead, sitting up as he pressed Eddie’s legs up toward his chest and pounded into him.

The sound of their skin slapping together was almost entirely drowned out by Eddie’s breathy moans, his knuckles white where they were fisting the pillow behind his head. He locked eyes with Stan when he adjusted again, driving his cock directly into Eddie’s prostate on every thrust. His nails dug into the soft flesh of Eddie’s thighs as he panted above him.

Eddie could feel the wet spot growing on his belly from where his aching cock was still spurting precome, and he felt himself getting closer and closer with every push and pull of Stan inside him. 

“Come on baby, come for me.”

He cried out at the hoarse sound of Stan’s voice, and he really didn’t want to yet. He didn’t want this to be over, because he was in pure bliss and he just wanted to pretend that he didn’t have to deal with his problems for a bit longer, but his body had other ideas, and the pulsing heat in the pit of his stomach had him arching up, reaching a shaky hand down to wrap around himself to stroke quickly, his whole body being pushed up the couch with Stan’s brutal movements.

Stan spread him wider, his eyes dragging over Eddie’s writhing form and his hips tripping up in their rhythm. A high pitched cry fell from Eddie’s lips as his hand moved lightning fast, his hole clenching down around Stan as his orgasm tore through him.

“Yeah, baby. Fuck, let me see you.”

He pulled Eddie’s body roughly against himself as Eddie came all over his own stomach and chest, letting out whiny _ah ah ahs_ that turned into wails as Stan gripped him tightly, his cock throbbing as he emptied inside Eddie. He rocked down against Stan as he rode it out, low groans spilling from his lips in time with each spurt inside him.

Eddie’s muscles went lax when Stan stopped moving, his fingers loosening their grip on the pillow as he sucked in breaths through his parted lips. They stayed like that for a moment, then Stan’s hands moved to Eddie’s waist, carefully pulling him toward himself until he was in Stan’s lap. Eddie whimpered at the feeling of him still inside his sensitive hole, his arms wrapping around Stan’s neck as he laid back, letting Eddie rest his head on his chest. Stan rubbed comforting circles with his thumb into the small of Eddie’s back, drawing soft sighs from him as he tried to relax.

“So full, Stanley.” Eddie gasped, his hips pressing down on their own accord and his toes curling from the overwhelming sensation. “Wanna stay like this forever.”

Stan hummed softly, pressing a kiss into Eddie’s hair as he ran his fingers up and down Eddie’s back.

“Me too, baby.”

Eddie melted into Stan’s warmth, and he could have fallen asleep just like that, with Stan buried inside him and the mess on his belly sticking them together. And he wishes he had, because he wasn’t prepared for what came next.

“I love you, Eddie.”

The rumbling of Stan’s voice in his chest was like thunder crashing in Eddie’s eardrums, and he felt so heavy with love and adoration and safety and _guilt_ , that all he could do was cry. So he did, his whole body shook as he sobbed into Stan’s chest, only adding to the wet mess between them. And Stan just held him, his arms wrapping tightly around Eddie as he continued pressing kisses into his hair and whispering softly, _I know, love, it’s okay. It’s okay, baby, I love you so much._

And Eddie wasn’t sure what Stan was trying to justify for him, but he clung onto his words even harder than he clung to Stan himself. He could hear himself trying to speak, to tell him what was going on in his mind, but it all came out garbled and broken, but Eddie wondered if he knew what those words were supposed to be anyway.

_I love you, too._

_You’re my everything, too, Stanley._

_I’m so sorry for everything that I’ve done, will you ever forgive me?_

It felt like hours that they’d laid there, but Eddie knew it couldn’t have been that long when he finally fluttered his eyes open to see the last rays of sunlight disappearing beyond the windowsill. He felt empty when he realized that Stan was no longer inside him, and he carefully pushed up, wincing as their skin stuck together.

“Stanley…” His voice was wrecked, and he licked his lips to continue, but Stan stopped him.

“Shh, baby.” He brought a hand up to tuck a piece of hair behind Eddie’s ear, his expression soft. “Do you want to take a shower with me?”

Eddie was a little surprised that he was letting this all go so quickly, and he searched his eyes for answers, trying to sate the little voice in the back of his mind that was growing louder and louder, tiny screams of _he knows! He knows!_

But he decided to let it go for now, too, nodding in affirmation to Stan’s question. He leaned up, pressing a gentle kiss to Stan’s lips, sighing softly when Stan’s hand came up to brush through his hair. 

He sat them up once again, helping Eddie to stand on wobbly legs before standing up himself, cupping Eddie’s cheek.

“I’ll get the water running, come up when you’re ready.”

Stan picked up their clothes, handing Eddie his briefs before pressing a kiss to his forehead and turning to walk up the stairs. 

And that was fucking weird. Why wouldn’t he wait? But he didn’t seem mad or upset. Eddie chewed on his bottom lip as he pulled his briefs on over his legs, grateful for the gesture to prevent him from making more of a mess.

He remained in place until he heard the water running upstairs, his mind racing. Stan told him he fucking loved him, for the first time, and all he did in return was bawl his eyes out. But what was even more unsettling to him than his own shitty response to something that was probably incredibly difficult for Stan to even do, was Stan’s casual response to that. 

_He knows._

Stan was extremely perceptive, and it’s not like Eddie had been very secretive about the fact that he’d had a crush on both of them in high school, and even before that. But that was years ago now, and Richie had made it clear that he wasn’t the right choice. That he’s unstable and he’d never be able to provide for Eddie like Stan could. And Eddie knew he was right, so he’d allowed himself to drift away from Richie over the years. Not far enough, though. He wasn’t sure he could ever let go completely. And maybe Stan knew that, too.

Or maybe he was upset that Eddie hadn’t returned his sentiment? Maybe it had fucking nothing to do with Richie and Eddie just needed to forget about him. Especially now, because Stan loved him. Stan took care of him and wanted to be with him. Eddie wanted that too, he just wished he didn’t also still have this inescapable pull to the other man. 

Fear and guilt were battling inside him for their place at the forefront of his mind, but he was so exhausted and he’d been standing here for too long and Stan would be wondering what he was doing. So he allowed his feet to carry him toward the stairs, but something gave him pause. His eyes drifted to where his phone had fallen to the ground, likely during their stumbling to the couch. He peeked up the stairs before leaning down to grab it, unlocking it to find a text from Richie.

_R: tomorrow night?_

Eddie bit his lip, his stomach dipping just from two stupid words. His thumbs trembled where they hovered over the letters.

_E: Stan told me he loves me_

The typing bubble popped up instantly, disappearing and reappearing a few times before something finally came through.

_R: so we’re done then?_

He didn’t realize he was crying again until the tears warmed his cheeks, rolling down slowly to drip down his neck. He sniffled as he typed, and his heart felt too full; so he guessed breaking it open might relieve some of the pressure.

_E: I don’t want to hurt him, Richie_

_R: got it. congrats, eds_

His tears landed heavy on the screen, and he knew this was all his own fault for being indecisive, for convincing himself it was okay to let this go on for so long. But it still fucking hurt.

_E: you’ll still come to the party though, right?_

_R: wouldn’t miss an opportunity to celebrate stan the man_

_just try not to look too cute_

_whatever you do don’t wear your overalls_

_sorry, shouldn’t say that shit_

_night eddie_

Eddie went to type a reply, but Richie sent another text before he could.

_R: im happy for you, eds_

_you deserve to be happy with stan_

_i’ll try to keep my distance_

A broken sob crawled up from his throat, and he pressed the back of his hand over his mouth in an attempt to stifle it. He shoved it down long enough to answer, the screen blurry behind the tears pooling on his lids.

_E: good night, Richie_

He turned his phone off and placed it on the end table before quickly making his way up the stairs.

Their shower was mostly silent, filled only with soft sighs and the sounds of gentle kisses while they ran their soapy palms over each other’s skin. When they were clean, Eddie wrapped his arms around Stan’s waist and pressed his ear to his chest, listening to the steady sound of his heartbeat. Stan pulled his fingers through his wet waves, and Eddie was a bit sad but mostly grateful when Stan eventually moved to turn off the water so they could go lay down.

Eddie could feel this strange energy between them, and while he told himself it was one thing, he was fairly certain it was the other. Instead of questioning it, he pretended it was neither, because this was supposed to be a night for Stan, and it turned into Eddie throwing himself a pity party, which only added to the disquiet weighing on him. He laced his fingers with Stan’s once they had their pajamas on, urging him closer to press a kiss to his lips. Stan smiled softly at him, and Eddie thought that maybe each of his little smiles could add a stitch to the break in his heart.

Once they were settled under the covers, they just stared into each other’s eyes, and the continued silence was welcome. Eddie melted under the caress of Stan’s hands in his hair and on his face, ghosting over the length of his arm and back to his waist. The last thing he remembers before falling asleep were his soft blue eyes, silently promising that everything would be okay.

And his eyes were even softer the next day, as they were getting ready to say their goodbyes for the weekend. 

“Are you sure it’s okay if I stay here?’

“Of course, Eddie.”

Eddie leaned into Stan’s touch when he cupped his cheek, his thumb soothing over this skin just under his eye. He smiled at the taller man, reaching out to tangle their fingers together. 

“I just feel more…” He wasn’t really sure how to phrase it without making it sound like too much, but as always, Stan knew what he was trying to say.

“This is your home too, baby. I love having you here, even when I’m gone.”

Heat warmed his freckled cheeks and he cast his eyes down, but Stan slid his hand down to lift his face by his chin, landing a firm kiss on his lips. Eddie pushed up on his toes, placing a flat palm against Stan’s chest. A soft sound rumbled up from his chest when Stan’s thumb pressed just below his bottom lip, pulling down to open his mouth and slide his tongue inside. He allowed him to explore his mouth, moving to wrap his arms around him but instead gasped when Stan pulled away. Eddie fluttered his eyes open to find Stan staring at his lips, and he really didn’t want him to leave.

“I have to go, love.”

Eddie stuck his bottom lip out in a pout, throwing his arms around Stan’s neck and pressing a kiss just under his jaw, drawing a laugh from him.

“I’ll miss you.”

Stan pulled back, dropping a kiss to Eddie’s forehead, then his nose, and one more on his lips. Eddie giggled, pushing him slightly only to pull him back in.

“I’ll miss you too. I’ll text you when I get there.”

“Don’t forget.”

“I literally could never, Eddie.”

They kissed one last time before Stan finally broke away to walk to his vehicle. Eddie watched him go, blowing a kiss as he drove away. It was a bittersweet feeling, knowing this was probably the last time, at least in the foreseeable future, that Stan would have to go on these trips.

Eddie tried not to think too much about that as he walked back inside, leaning back against the door after he shut it. He shouldn’t be feeling fucking sad that his almost-boyfriend was finally done leaving town, that now they could spend even more time together. That was a good thing. So why the fuck did it feel like he was losing more than he was gaining?

He forced himself to leave his phone where it lied, taunting him. Because while he liked to bury things deep and not allow himself to admit the truth, he knew himself well enough to know that he wouldn’t be able to stop himself from texting Richie. 

He used what was left of his will power to walk upstairs to shower despite not really needing to, desperate for a distraction. Unfortunately, that meant he had none left while he was under the warm stream, and his mind wandered to the exact thing he was trying to avoid.

Shocking blue eyes, a wicked smile, inky curls, and those _hands._ Richie’s stupid huge fucking hands had been haunting Eddie’s dreams for so long that he really couldn’t remember a time when they hadn’t. It didn’t make it easier that they were always doing something, whether that be gesturing wildly as he spoke or wrapping around a glass as he sipped from it or flicking the ash from his cigarette with a delicacy that was almost criminal.

Thinking of them was almost painful after knowing what they felt like on him, _inside him._ The thought of never feeling them again had his stomach twisting into knots, so rather than allowing that sickly feeling to take over, he used it to justify himself in wrapping his hand around his cock. It was okay, just this one last time. Just to get it out of his system; then he wouldn’t even feel like texting Richie anymore. Wouldn’t think about going to his apartment later and being thrown down onto the closest surface and held there by those hands as Richie pounded into him, whispering things that made Eddie’s whole body shake and always had him begging for more.

_You’re such a little cockslut, baby._

_God, you were fucking made for me, feel so perfect inside you._

_No one will ever be able to make you feel the way I do._

Eddie stroked himself quickly, frightened by the idea of that last statement being true. His orgasm approached so rapidly he felt dizzy as he let his mind fully immerse itself in those thoughts, so deeply he could almost feel Richie’s breath on his ear. He slapped his other hand over his own mouth as he came, desperate to muffle his cries that sounded just like broken _Richie’s._

He wrapped a towel around himself once he stepped out, avoiding his own eyes in the mirror as he brushed his teeth, a shameful blush still hot on his cheeks as he made his way to the bedroom.

Wearing Stan’s clothes had always been a bit of a comfort to him, so he elected to wear a pair of Stan’s pajama pants and a soft long sleeve. His clothes were definitely big on Eddie, and he tried to ignore the thought popping into his mind that someone else’s were even bigger. A sigh fell from his lips as he left the room to return downstairs.

He made himself a cup of tea once he got to the kitchen, pulling his sleeves over his hands to carry the hot mug into the living room. He set it down before grabbing his laptop off the desk and settling in on the couch. He decided to work on some homework, though his professors had been giving him a pretty light load for this last semester and he knew he really didn’t have much to do. He forced himself to focus on the few assignments he did have.

By the time he finished, it was past the time that Stan should have arrived, so he finally allowed himself to reach over for his phone.

His leg bounced as he waited for it to turn on, receiving several random notifications and one text.

_S: just got to the hotel_

_E: I’m glad you’re safe_

Eddie chewed on his lip, the creeping thought of not having gotten any texts from Richie making itself known. Shaking the thoughts out of his head, he quickly typed another message.

_E: can I call you rn?_

_S: can’t talk now, sorry_

_I’ll try to call later, okay?_

_E: okay_

With that option lost, he resumed his studies and managed to keep himself mostly distracted, despite the incessant itch to text Richie and find out why the fuck he’d gone radio silent.

He nearly knocked the laptop off of his lap in his haste to grab his phone when it buzzed hours later, his shoulders slumping almost imperceptibly when he looked at the screen.

_S: I don’t think I’ll have a chance to call tonight_

_I’m sorry, I’ll talk to you tomorrow_

_E: that’s okay_

_just doing homework and gonna watch a movie_

Stan didn’t reply, but Eddie knew it was only because he was busy. He dared to pull his chat with Richie up, just in case he missed a text. He didn’t. A frown pulled the corners of his lips down as he exchanged his phone and laptop for the remote on the coffee table, turning on Netflix. He barely even registered what was on as his mind wandered, and he eventually grew tired from convincing himself over and over again why texting Richie was a bad idea, finally letting his eyes flutter shut.

The next day went much like the last, only now he’d sunken so deep into distress that his eyes actually hurt from how much he’d been crying. It hurt that Richie hadn’t so much as bothered to check in. It was good, though. Good that he was proving to Eddie that he was the wrong choice. He just had to get through until Monday morning, when Stan would be back and he could take the pain away. Or at the very least, numb it long enough that Eddie could figure out a way to lock it up inside himself.

It hadn’t even occurred to him how long he’d been curled up on the couch, staring blankly at the screen that asked him if he was still watching, until the low sun cut through the cloudy haze, beaming through the window long enough to have him squinting.

He startled to the sound of his phone buzzing, his arm reaching lazily to grab it from the coffee table. He smiled once he looked at the screen, but his stomach turned a bit at the same time. He wondered if that would ever fucking stop.

_S: hey baby_

_E: hey, missing you_

_everything going okay?_

_S: it’s going great_

_I think I’ll be back a little early, actually_

Eddie bit his lip, wondering if that meant tonight. It was already nearly eight, so he doubted it. Or maybe hoped would be a better descriptor.

_E: really?_

_that’s great, I just want you to be back already_

_so when will you be here?_

_S: tomorrow afternoon_

_I texted the others, we’ll plan for dinner and drinks tomorrow night_

_does that work for you?_

_E: of course, I can’t wait_

_S: me too_

_gotta finish a few things and then I’m gonna turn in early_

_night, love_

_E: good night, Stanley_

Then he was suddenly overcome with a horrible sense of fear, because he still hadn’t fucking heard from Richie. It had been almost two full days without anything. Richie told him he was going to keep his distance. This was all to be expected. It was a good thing he had the chance to get used to it while Stan was gone, so the random bouts of tears could freely release without being questioned. But he honestly couldn’t believe that Richie had actually just. Stopped. Maybe he really never did feel as strongly for Eddie as he thought.

He placed his phone on the couch next to him, standing up and allowing his feet to take him upstairs. The clothes he’d been wearing since yesterday fell into the basket, and he didn’t think about anything other than each slow movement as he pulled a clean pair of briefs on over his legs. On the bottom of his drawer in Stan’s dresser he found his favorite black overalls, carefully stepping into them as he turned to the closet to remove a powdery blue sweater, sliding his arms into the sleeves before pulling it over his head. He clasped the buckles over his shoulders, turning to catch a glimpse of himself in the mirror on the back of the door. With his bottom lip between his teeth, he gingerly slipped one off to hang carelessly to the side. 

Nearly tumbling down the stairs in his haste to get back to his phone, he took a deep breath once it was in his hands. His fingers were typing and his feet were carrying him toward the door before he really had a chance to think about it. He’s not sure when it started raining, and he was lucky to catch an Uber in the area. He raced down the walkway in front of Stan’s house and climbed inside, the ends of his hair dripping down onto his shoulders.

He was just going to make sure Richie was okay. He wasn’t sure there was ever a time when he went more than a few hours without hearing from Richie, even if it was just a stupid meme or some other bullshit in their group chat.

And sure, he could have just tried texting or calling him. But he just needed to see him, just make sure he was okay with everything, that he wasn’t drinking himself into a coma, and maybe they could finally have closure. Just one last time seeing each other with no other eyes on them, maybe Eddie would be lucky enough to even get a hug out of the other man if he wasn’t too upset with him.

He considered maybe asking his driver to wait, since this would just be a quick five minute visit. Ten, if they got to talking. But he didn’t. He stared at the building as the rain pelted against him, his heart slamming inside of his chest as he slowly made his way up the steps, carefully pulling the door open.

Each stair felt steeper than the last, his mind spinning and his stomach turning aggressively enough to make him want to dry heave.  
His hand shook violently when he raised it to knock on the door, and it was so quiet he was certain that it wouldn’t be heard until the soft sound of pattering footsteps proved otherwise.

When the door opened, his first thought was that he really should have taken a breath, tried to get himself under control before those blue eyes were on him. They were red around the edges, and normally Eddie would just assume he’d been smoking, but this was different. Richie had been crying, and the realization had tears spilling onto his own cheeks. 

All his thoughts had left him, his mouth opening to say something but coming up short. Richie stared at him, so much pain in his expression that it made Eddie want to turn around and run away, which is exactly what he should do. He should never have come here in the first place. Why the fuck was he here?

“I-” It came out broken, so he swallowed over the lump in his throat before trying again. “I don’t know why I’m here.”

Richie let out a breath as if he’d been holding it, his eyes searching Eddie’s face.

“You don’t need a reason.”

His voice was hoarse and it sent a shiver down his spine, and he couldn’t handle Richie’s gaze anymore, so he looked down to his feet, kicking one softly against the worn flooring. 

“I shouldn’t be here.”

“Says who?”

Eddie didn’t know how to answer, so he didn’t. The door squeaked quietly, catching Eddie’s attention. When he dragged his eyes back up to Richie’s face, it looked like he was taking in the sight of Eddie as if it were the last time he’d ever be able to.

“You’re shivering.”

It was only then that he realized how cold he was, droplets of water still falling from his hair and onto the floor surrounding him.

“It’s raining.”

“Come on, let me…” Richie sighed, pulling a hand roughly through his hair. “Let me get you a towel or something.”

Eddie took a step forward, his heart beating loudly in his ears as he considered the threshold. Because he knew what was going to happen if he went inside. He should turn around and say goodbye; this was a mistake. But he stepped over anyway, the door clicking shut behind him. 

Richie took off toward the bathroom, returning quickly with a towel, wrapping it around Eddie’s shoulders. His hand hesitated near his chin, but he ultimately dropped it, rubbing his palms on his jeans before moving to sit on the couch. Eddie tilted his head to rub the edge of the towel over his hair, slowly taking a few steps toward Richie. The other man kept his eyes down, his elbows resting on his knees and his hands clasped in front of his mouth. Eddie felt awful, Richie clearly was uncomfortable with him being here, and he should have had enough fucking sense to know better than to just show up.

He pulled his phone out of his pocket, pulling up the Uber app to order another, because he should go back to Stan’s and reevalute his stupid fucking decision making skills and get ready to be in a serious, committed relationship with the guy that truly wanted to be with him.

And that was really the crux of it. Why the fuck did Richie not want to be with him?

Unfortunately, he didn’t realize he was speaking his thoughts until Richie’s eyes shot up to meet his, something like devastation and rage burning there.

“Are you fucking kidding me, Eddie?” Richie was standing now, looking down at Eddie so intensely that he felt his cheeks flushing. But then the anger bubbled up inside him, and suddenly he was so fucking pissed.

“Why, Richie? Why don’t you even try?” Tears streamed hot over his freckles as he stared up at Richie, who was slowly moving closer, forcing Eddie’s head to tilt back further with each step.

“You were never gonna choose me, Eddie. I can’t make you happy the way Stan does.”

“How? How the fuck do you know that? And who the fuck are you to make that decision for me?”

“You made that decision when you fucking fell in love with him! When I became your fucking secret because you didn’t want to hurt Stan. You don’t think that fucking hurt me, Eddie? Knowing that I’m your dirty fucking secret while he gets to parade you around in front of everyone?”

“That’s not fucking fair, Richie. You’ve always said you didn’t think you could commit. That I should be with Stan.”

“Yeah, because it’s fucking true, you shouldn’t wait for me to straighten up when he is ready to be with you. But don’t ever think I don’t want to fucking be with you. You know me, Eddie. Of course I’m gonna say that shit when it’s so obvious how in love you are with him. Even I can admit he’s the better choice.”

Their bodies were barely a breath apart, and Eddie could see the tears starting to fall behind Richie’s glasses. Because this was really the way it was going to end between them. Maybe that would make it easier, if they fought; if they hated each other. But Eddie didn’t fucking hate him. He could never.

“Just because I love him doesn’t mean I don’t-” Eddie snapped his mouth shut, cursing himself for being so stupid. Why did he have to be so stupid?

Richie’s eyes went wide, his hands balling into fists at his sides. Eddie blinked away fresh tears, his lips parted as he gasped in breaths. It was the first time he’d really let himself admit it. He was in love with Stan. But he was in love with Richie, too.

“What were you gonna say, Eddie?” Richie spoke through clenched teeth, and Eddie couldn’t tell if he was going to attack him or break into hysterics.

“Nothing. Just forget it. I’m leaving.” He pulled the towel from his shoulders and shoved it into Richie’s chest, turning on his heels to run out the door, but Richie caught him by the strap of his overalls that was still over his shoulder, pulling him back in, right up against himself. Eddie gasped, feeling Richie’s breath on his face where he stared down at him.

“Did you wear these on purpose?”

Eddie furrowed his brow, almost laughing at the question. If only it was actually funny, and not painfully true.

“What the fuck does that matter?”

“Answer me.”

_Whatever you do, don't wear your overalls._

“What if I did?”

Richie’s hand tightened around the denim, his eyes ablaze.

“Did you tell Stan you love him?”

Eddie licked over his lips, Richie’s eyes watching the motion.

“Not yet.”

“Why?”

“I wasn’t ready.”

“Why the fuck not, Eddie?”

It felt like he could pass out from how quickly his blood was rushing through his body, and he just wanted to lose himself in Richie. He _needed_ to. There was no way he could walk out of here without feeling his touch one last time.

“I wasn’t ready to let you go.”

Richie huffed out a shaky breath, his other hand coming up to weave into Eddie’s damp strands, pulling tightly on them as he brought his lips down to his ear. Eddie’s chest heaved, his eyes fluttering.

“And now you are?”

Eddie reached up to clutch onto Richie’s arms, trying desperately to ground himself.

“I don’t know. I don’t know,” he whispered, tilting his head a bit in an effort to feel Richie’s lips where they were resting so close to his ear. “Please, Richie. Please fucking kiss me.”

Everything else in the world ceased to exist when Richie slotted their mouths together, his tongue diving in without hesitation. Eddie moaned, pressing up on his toes to try and get closer. He felt Richie pull the other strap of his overalls over his shoulder before moving both hands down to his ass, lifting him up and shoving him roughly into the wall. Eddie locked his arms around Richie’s neck and his ankles around his waist, holding onto him as tightly as he was physically able.

Richie rocked his hips into Eddie’s, capturing his lips again and again each time Eddie broke away with a loud moan. Eddie wrapped his fingers into Richie’s curls, pulling harshly as he pushed his tongue into Richie’s mouth, tugging his hips back in with his legs. Their teeth were clashing together as they tried to get deeper into each other’s mouths, and Eddie felt himself floating away, letting Richie take him to that place that only he ever could.

“Daddy,” he panted, tilting his head up to allow Richie to shove his face into his neck, “take me to bed, please?”

Richie groaned, grinding against Eddie in a way that had his eyes rolling back before pulling them away from the wall, his mouth moving to bite and suck the skin just under Eddie’s ear as he carried him into his bedroom.

A yelp left Eddie when Richie pushed him off of himself to fall onto his back on the bed. He tore his own shirt off before running his hands through his hair and staring down at Eddie. Eddie watched him with wide eyes, a thrilling spark shooting up his spine.

He stepped closer, wrapping his hands into Eddie’s overalls to roughly pull them from his legs before throwing them to the other side of the room. Eddie watched as Richie slipped a hand under each of his knees, spreading him wide to create a space for himself. He started by pressing gentle kisses to his inner thigh, dragging his lips up and down the creamy flesh, turning to do the same to the other. He pressed his teeth against him, drawing a gasp from Eddie.

“What if I just fucking mark you up, hmm? You think he’d like to know where I’ve been, baby?”

Eddie whimpered, his legs already shaking in Richie’s grip.

“You can’t, Daddy.”

Richie chuckled against his skin, sucking some between his teeth just enough to have Eddie gasping before releasing it with a kiss. Eddie wanted nothing more than for Richie to bruise him everywhere, so everyone would know that he’d touched him. But that had been a long standing agreement between them, and Richie had yet to break it.

Eddie’s cock twitched in his briefs as Richie kissed his way to it, his tongue coming out to lick him from over the fabric. Richie groaned when he tasted him, causing Eddie to throw his head back and flush in embarrassment, knowing how wet they must already be from his precome.

“You’re such a little slut. Fucking soaked for me already, baby boy. So good for me.”

One of his hands came up to curl into the waistband, tugging them down so that Eddie’s cock could flop out. He instantly arched his hips, jerking them forward when Richie took his whole cock into his mouth. Eddie cried out when Richie’s tongue laved over the length of him, his hands securing themselves back under his knees to keep him spread open.

“Feels so good, Daddy. Oh _fuck,_ ” Eddie writhed under him when he pulled back to flick his tongue over the slit relentlessly. His hands flew down to Richie’s hair, already feeling so close, his hips trying to buck up into Richie’s mouth. “I’m gonna come, Daddy. Can I?” His hands tried and failed to push Richie down onto him. “Please?”

“Already baby?” His tongue swirled around the head, pressing heavy against the underside before pulling away. “How many times can you come for me?”

Eddie wailed when the only feeling on him was Richie’s breath ghosting across his wet skin. He arched up again, his head still thrown back as he panted out a response.

“As many as you want, Daddy.” 

Richie groaned as he pressed a kiss to the head, and Eddie felt it vibrate through his whole body.

“Good boy. Go ahead, baby. Come for me.”

He took him into his mouth again, latching his lips around him and sucking hard as Eddie practically screamed, shooting hot down Richie’s throat. He worked him through it, rubbing soothing circles with his thumbs to the inside of his knees. Richie pulled off, dropping his legs to crawl up his body, shoving his come covered tongue into Eddie’s mouth. Eddie’s fingers stayed tangled in his hair as Richie’s hands slid under his sweater, engulfing his small frame as they moved upwards, his thumbs rubbing harshly over his nipples.

“Do you come that easily for him?”

Eddie moaned against his mouth, trying to press up for another kiss but Richie was just out of reach.

He did this, sometimes. Eddie always thought it was just out of jealousy, or maybe because for some reason it made Eddie so fucking hot and he didn’t know why. And Richie knew _every little thing_ that drove Eddie wild, and he never hesitated to use them.

A rough hand on his chin pulled him from his daze, fluttering his eyes open to meet Richie’s.

“I asked you a question.”

“No, Daddy. Only for you.”

He kept his hold on Eddie’s chin as he leaned to the side slightly, reaching into his nightstand to grab a bottle of lube to place on the bed next to them.

“Would you ever lie to me, sweetheart?”

“Never, Daddy. I promise.”

Richie leaned down to suck Eddie’s bottom lip between his teeth, sinking them into the pillowy softness there as he stared down into Eddie’s eyes. Eddie shivered when Richie dragged his tongue over it, pulling off to lean down to his ear.

“Good boy.”

Eddie lifted his arms for Richie when he began pushing his sweater up. He watched in awe as Richie gripped his forearm, pressing feather light kisses down the entire length of his arm, moving his way across when he reached his shoulder to repeat the action in reverse on the other side. Eddie sucked in quick breaths through parted lips when Richie moved back down to his chest, kissing every inch of skin he could possibly find. Eddie arched up when he took one of his nipples into his mouth, pressing his teeth into it and sucking roughly until it was hard and red before moving onto the other.

And Eddie tried, he tried so fucking hard not to get emotional and just let this be sex. But the tears were already rolling down the sides of his face, and it was too late because Richie heard him sniffling from where he was now kissing his abdomen, and he quickly moved back up to hover over his face.

It looked like he was about to ask why but thought better of it, his brows furrowing in concern above his heated gaze. He let the tears fall freely as they looked at each other, but he didn’t want to feel sad, and he sure as fuck didn’t want Richie to be sad. So he threw his arms around Richie’s neck and tugged him down for a kiss, only for Richie to pull back almost immediately.

“Eddie…”

“No, no, please. Just-” He tried to convey everything he was feeling through his eyes, because there was just never going to be an easy way to say it all out loud. Richie was almost never gentle when they fucked, and Eddie needed him to just take it all away, take him to that place where it was only the two of them and nothing else mattered. “Fuck me, Richie. I need you to take it all away. Make me feel like…”

“Like what, sweet boy?”

“Like I’m yours.”

Richie surged forward, locking their lips together as he rocked his hips down against Eddie. He was still wearing his jeans, and the rough fabric against Eddie’s sensitive cock had him mewling against Richie’s lips. He reached down to shove his briefs the rest of the way off when he heard Richie popping the cap of the lube. He leaned up slightly to help Eddie get them all the way down his legs before pouring some of the substance onto his fingers, resting his other arm next to Eddie’s head as he held his eyes, his wet fingers slipping between his cheeks. Eddie whimpered, bending his knees and spreading open as wide as he could for the other man.

“You will always belong to me.”

The words left him as he pressed two fingers knuckle deep inside Eddie, a high keening sound being ripped from his throat. Richie dropped a kiss to his lips before moving down, his lips and tongue tasting him from his chin to his neck, all the way down his chest and belly before pressing a kiss to either side of his hips. He started thrusting, Eddie’s moans filling the air around them as they reached places inside of him that have only and will only ever be touched by Richie’s long, deft fingers.

A choked cry fell from his lips when Richie took his half hard cock back into his mouth, swirling his tongue around it over and over again as he worked him back up to full hardness, his fingers curling up to press firmly against his prostate. Eddie fisted the sheets in his small hands as his hips bucked wildly back and forth between the sensations, and his stomach flipped over itself when Richie slipped a third finger inside, spreading them as he stretched him open. Richie brought his other hand to rest just under Eddie’s ass, squeezing and digging his nails in to the soft flesh there as he began sucking harder, staring up at Eddie as he did. Eddie whimpered at the sight of his eyes, the blue in them nearly taken over entirely by his pupils. He reached a hand down toward him, meaning to slide into his hair, but Richie caught it in his own instead, lacing their fingers. He clutched onto it firmly, the fire in his belly blazing as they held eye contact, and he bit his lip harshly when Richie rubbed over that spot inside him again and again, his words coming out broken and hoarse.

“Daddy, you’re gonna make me come,” he gasped, his nails leaving half moons where they dug into the back of Richie’s hand, “I’m coming, oh god, _Richie._ ”

Richie let him come in his mouth a second time, humming around him as Eddie’s whole body shook with it. His fingers never stopped their movements, tracing circles inside him as tears streamed down Eddie’s face.

“It’s too much, Daddy, please.”

He pulled off of his cock, licking a stripe over it before moving up to look into his eyes, leaning down to press kisses over his cheek, landing on his ear. Eddie’s body jerked with each press inside of him, tiny hiccups escaping his chest as he desperately held his grip on Richie’s hand, the other coming up to hold tight to his shoulder.

“Are you safe, baby?”

Eddie threw his head back at the sound of Richie’s low voice in his ear, feeling his fingers slow their movements just slightly. He whined, rocking down against his hand eagerly. Richie nuzzled his face into his neck, urging Eddie to look at him.

“Eddie, baby. Open your eyes.”

He did, his vision fuzzy as he met Richie’s gaze. Richie kissed over the line of Eddie’s freckles, licking the tears off of his lips before pressing their foreheads together, their breaths mingling between their mouths.

“I need you to tell me if you’re okay, sweetheart.”

Eddie nodded, shakily lifting their entwined hands up to his mouth to drag his lips over Richie’s knuckles, keeping his eyes on him.

“Yes, I’m okay. Please, I need you, I need to feel you.”

“Are you sure?”

And Eddie didn’t know why, but even through the floaty haze in his mind, he felt frustrated. Because Richie was always good about checking in, but Eddie had never needed him more than he did right now, and he couldn’t wait for it any longer.

“I’m sure that I need you to hurry up and fuck me, Daddy.” He pushed down against Richie’s hand again, a shaky breath falling from his lips. “Why won’t you fuck me?”

Something wicked flashed behind Richie’s eyes at the words, and he dragged his fingertips over Eddie’s prostate once more before pulling his hand out, Eddie whining as his hole fluttered with the loss. He released his hold on Richie to reach down and attempt to get his pants open, but his hands were shaking so much that it was no use. Richie nipped at his jaw as he batted his hands away, quickly getting them open and shoving them down his hips along with his boxers, kicking them off almost violently. Eddie whimpered when he laid eyes on Richie's dick, so red and wet at the tip, his own spent cock twitching to life at the sight.

“I’m gonna fuck you,” Richie growled, grabbing the lube once more to pour it directly onto his cock, stroking over it roughly as he ran his other hand down the expanse of skin on Eddie’s chest, sliding to the side to grip onto his waist. “I’m gonna fuck you until you can’t ever forget what it feels like when I’m inside you, baby.”

Eddie nodded, his hands coming up to rest above his head as Richie lined himself up, ghosting over Eddie’s glistening rim.

“Yes, _yes,_ Daddy, I-” His voice broke off as Richie pushed inside, Eddie catching the sight of Richie throwing his own head back as he pushed in all the way in one thrust before they fluttered shut, a wavering moan falling from his lips.

Richie’s hands moved to Eddie’s calves, holding his legs in the air as he slowly pulled out all the way only to thrust back inside, choked sobs escaping Eddie’s lips with every movement, every brush over the sensitive spot inside him, because when Richie fucked him, it was constant stimulation to his prostate, no matter what angle or what speed, and it never failed to have Eddie drifting off into absolute bliss.

“Jesus Christ, you’re fucking beautiful.” Richie cooed, his eyes raking over Eddie’s form, smirking at his euphoric expression. Eddie whimpered, desperately trying to keep his eyes open and on Richie’s face. He tried meeting Richie’s movements, but his muscles were already so tired, so instead he just let Richie take care of him, feeling his cock trying to harden again. Richie moved his hands to Eddie’s hips, pressing his thumbs into the bone there as he leaned forward, licking some stray tears from the side of Eddie’s face before whispering into his ear. “I want to fucking ruin you.”

A high pitched whine forced its way up from Eddie’s chest, his lips pressing lazy kisses to the side of Richie’s face and his jaw. He lifted a hand only to drop it around Richie’s neck, licking over his own lips before speaking softly, “Do it, Daddy,” Richie’s teeth sunk into the skin under Eddie’s ear with a low growl, his hips snapping forward, “I’m yours to ruin.” Richie cursed under his breath, kneeling back and pulling out suddenly, drawing a surprised yelp from Eddie.

“You have no fucking idea what you do to me.” He said lowly, using his grip on Eddie’s hips to flip him onto his stomach. Eddie gasped when Richie hiked his ass into the air, spreading him open and thrusting back inside. The sound of their skin slapping together mixed with Eddie’s cries and Richie’s groans, creating an obscene melody around them. Eddie’s fingers scrambled for the sheets, holding them tightly in his fists as Richie pounded into him. 

Eddie was so high on the pleasure Richie was giving him, he didn’t realize he was moving until Richie’s chest was pressed to his back and one of his large hands came around to Eddie’s throat, pulling him up slightly so their faces were right next to each other. He was still slamming into him, getting even deeper, knocking Eddie’s hips into the mattress with the force of it. The friction on his leaking cock had him letting out broken sobs as he felt the wet heat of Richie’s breath against his cheek.

“You like it when I get deep, baby? Like feeling me in your guts?” Richie’s voice was so wrecked, making Eddie moan and use every bit of strength he had left to push his ass up to meet each of Richie’s thrusts.

“God, _yes._ ” Eddie gasped out as Richie’s hand tightened around his throat, holding his head back against his shoulder and panting against his face. “Nothing feels as good as you, Daddy.”

“Yeah?” His other arm wrapped around Eddie’s waist, holding him tightly against himself as he drove in hard and fast, keeping Eddie’s legs spread wide with his own. “Not even _him_?”

Eddie used one hand for support while the other went to dive into Richie’s curls, holding onto him as if he’d float into oblivion if he didn’t find something to ground himself on. He felt tears rushing out from his closed lids, only moaning loudly in response.

Richie paused his thrusts, grinding his hips roughly against Eddie’s ass as he pressed his lips directly onto his ear.

“Tell me the truth, baby. Tell me or I’ll fucking stop right now.”

A hoarse cry crawled up Eddie’s throat as he shook his head violently, swallowing hard against Richie’s grip.

“No! Not-” He gasped when Richie’s cock dragged roughly over his prostate. “Not even him. Only you, Daddy.”

Richie picked his brutal pace back up, titling Eddie’s face back further to drop an open mouthed kiss to his lips, shoving his tongue in to lick behind his teeth. Eddie looked at Richie through his wet lashes, lazily pressing his tongue against Richie’s.

“What’s gonna happen when I can’t fuck you anymore?”

“I don’t- _fuck_ , I don’t know.”

“Does he know how to fuck you like I do?”

The nonsense spilling steadily from Eddie’s lips was his only response as his eyes fluttered in their attempt to hold Richie’s gaze. Richie’s hand moved up to grab his chin, pulling his mouth open at the same time that he lifted Eddie, sitting them up so that he was in Richie’s lap, his legs on either side of Richie’s. Eddie felt drool leaking over his bottom lip as Richie’s hips continued rocking into him, and his eyes rolled back when Richie’s other hand slipped from his waist to wrap around his soaked cock. Richie turned Eddie’s face toward himself, and Eddie felt hot tears spilling when Richie started stroking him.

“He’ll never make you feel as good as I do. He doesn’t know that you’re my pretty little slut, and you’ll _always_ be mine. You’ll never be able to forget the way I feel inside you.”

Eddie felt his stomach dip at Richie’s words, his hole clenching around Richie as his orgasm approached. And he knew Richie wanted to hear it. He wanted Eddie to admit the frightening truth. That he was right.

“Never, Daddy. I’ll always be yours,” he gasped when Richie’s thumb started rubbing over the slit of his cock, both his arms coming up to wrap around Richie’s neck, his head lolling back onto his shoulder to press into his neck. “I’m coming, Daddy. I’m gonna come.”

Richie’s hand slid down to the base of Eddie’s cock, squeezing it tightly and receiving a breathy wail in return.

“Does he know how to make you scream, sweetheart?”

Eddie shook his head, his entire body shaking as Richie throbbed inside of him. 

“Just you.”

“Come for me baby, let me hear you.”

Richie released the base and quickly moved his hand over Eddie’s shaft. Eddie took a few quick breaths before doing as Richie said, letting a broken scream tear up from his chest as Richie kept his mouth held open, his body shaking violently as he came again into Richie’s fist. Richie continued rocking up erratically into him and whispering encouraging words into his ear as he worked him through it. 

Once he was certain he’d gotten everything out of him that he could, Richie grasped onto Eddie’s hips tightly, his nails nearly cutting through the skin as he pulled Eddie down onto his cock over and over, desperate sounds falling from Richie’s lips as he chased his release.

Eddie whimpered with each movement, turning his head toward Richie to press soft kisses just under his jaw, his body lax in Richie’s hold.

“Please, Daddy, please fill me up. Need to feel you.”

He clenched down around him as much as his weak muscles would allow, a high pitched moan escaping him when Richie came, tossing his head back and groaning as he grinded into him, spilling inside as deeply as he could.

They stayed like that, chests heaving as they tried to catch their breaths. Richie’s arms moved to wrap around Eddie’s middle, tilting his head down to press gentle kisses against Eddie’s shoulder. Eddie giggled when Richie’s hair tickled his neck, lifting a lazy hand to push the damp strands away from his sweaty forehead, only for them to fall right back into his eyes. The emotion in Richie’s eyes when he met Eddie’s gaze had Eddie’s heart jumping into his throat, as if it wanted to crawl up into Eddie’s mouth and leap into Richie’s when they kissed. Eddie sighed as Richie moved his lips against his, slow and soft, his tongue peeking out to lick over his bottom lip before disappearing again.

Richie rested his forehead against Eddie’s, and it looked like he had so many things to say, but he stayed quiet, just staring into Eddie’s dark eyes.

There were a million things Eddie wanted to say, too. But one was far more prominent than the others. He knew he couldn’t say it, though. He may never get the chance.

“Let me give you a bath.”

Eddie’s chest swelled at the soft tone of Richie’s voice, and he just nodded and smiled, pressing a tiny kiss to Richie’s chin. He whined when they started moving, Richie carefully lifting him off of his lap only to lift him back into his arms once he stood up, one arm under his knees and one around his shoulders. Eddie rested his head against Richie’s chest as he walked them across the hall, feeling like he could fall asleep in the few seconds it took to get there.

He set Eddie down on the edge of the bathtub while he filled it, adding some of the bubblebath that Eddie had chosen. He bit his lip as the bubbles began swirling in the warm water, and it took everything in him not to start crying as the realization began to set in that this was the last time they’d ever get to do this.

Richie held his hand as he moved to get into the water. They both remained mostly quiet as Richie washed Eddie’s hair with his long fingers, gently massaging his scalp as he did so. Eddie couldn’t hold back his hums of contentment, his eyes falling shut as he leaned in to the touch. He startled slightly when Richie’s lips pressed against his, but he returned it quickly, sighing when he pulled away.

“You need a bath, too.”

He fluttered his eyes back open, looking up into Richie’s heavy-lidded gaze.

“I’ll shower later.”

Eddie frowned, reaching up to him with wet hands.

“Just come in here.”

Richie chuckled, cupping Eddie’s cheek with a soapy hand.

“Is it gross if I say that I don’t want to wash you off of me yet?”

Eddie crinkled his nose, but a breathy laugh fell from his lips as Richie’s hands moved down to rub over his arms.

“Yes, but it’s also sweet.”

They kissed again before Richie continued washing Eddie’s body gently in silence. Once they were finished, he helped him stand up on wobbly legs as he stepped out before grabbing a fresh towel to wrap around his body. He pulled him against himself, Eddie tilting his head up with a small smile. Richie let out a shaky breath, pressing his lips to his forehead before leading him back to the bedroom.

Richie pulled his clothes back on before sitting on the edge of the bed, hunched over with his hands clasped in front of him. Eddie allowed Richie's eyes to wander his body as he dried himself off, a blush fierce on his cheeks and his chest warm as he did so. He pulled his clothes back on slowly, each movement only bringing him closer to the end of this night. The end of his time spent like this with Richie.

He ran the towel over his hair a few times before dropping it into the laundry basket, moving to sit on the bed next to Richie. He bit his lip as he wrung his hands in his lap, unsure of how to proceed. Because this was it. Something had to end, and the thought had tears burning the backs of his eyes again.

Richie looked up at him from under his curls, a somber expression on his face.

“I’d ask you to stay, but I think I already know the answer.”

Eddie frowned, a tear finding its way onto his cheek.

“If I stay I don’t think I’ll ever leave.”

Richie sat up straight at that, reaching over to engulf Eddie’s hands with his own. Eddie let more tears fall, because he couldn’t do this. He literally could not fucking do this.

“Who says you have to leave?”

“Richie…”

“No. Just-” Richie scooted closer, ducking down to catch Eddie’s eyes when he tried to turn away. “Stay here with me, Eds.”

“I can’t do that, Richie.” His voice was barely a whisper, the tears rolling down his face dripping off to land on their hands that were clasped in his lap.

“Why?”

“You know why.”

“Is it because you don’t-”

Eddie looked up at him, frantically shaking his head. 

_Is it because you don’t love me?_

“No. No. It’s because it’s too late, Richie. Stan told me he loves me, he’s going to ask me to make it official tomorrow and I-” his voice cracked on a sob, and he forced himself to pull his hands out of Richie’s grasp and stand up, taking a step away. “I can’t walk away from him.”

Richie’s voice was close when he spoke, his body hovering just behind Eddie’s, his voice weighing heavy where he spoke above him.

“But you can walk away from me?”

Eddie turned back to him, gasping when he saw how broken Richie looked, and he knew he wanted to cry, too.

“I have to. I- I don’t have a fucking choice, Richie. If you had-” he cut himself off, a sigh falling from his lips.

“If I had what? Been the better man? Held a steady job?”

_If you had said it first._

“Please don’t do this to me, Richie. I can’t… I can’t-” He couldn’t stop it when he felt himself hyperventilating, and Richie didn’t hesitate to wrap his arms around him and hold him tightly to his chest. And they just stood there and cried; Eddie sobbing into Richie’s chest as Richie let silent tears soak into Eddie’s hair where he’d pressed his face.

It felt like so long, but when Eddie’s tears finally stopped coming, he almost wished they hadn’t. Because he was running out of reasons to stay there.

He pulled back, dragging his palms over his face and wiping them on his pants, sniffling the last of his tears away.

“I should go, I’m gonna order an Uber.”

“No, Eddie. Just let me drive you.”

He looked up at Richie’s eyes, the blue in them shocking next to the tear-stained red. He didn’t have it in him to argue, and he didn’t want to lose the chance to spend an extra moment with the other man.

“Okay.”

Eddie told Richie he was staying at Stan’s, and beyond that the ride was nearly silent, barring the soft pelting of raindrops and the whispers of radio coming through the speakers. Richie held onto Eddie’s hand the whole way, both of their knuckles white from how tightly they clutched on to each other.

It was much too soon when they arrived in front of Stan’s house, the lights behind the curtains soft and inviting in the surrounding darkness. Eddie stared at the house from behind the window, afraid to turn back to Richie for fear of losing his strength entirely. He took the risk, finding that Richie seemed to be having the same trouble as his eyes were trained on their hands rather than Eddie’s face. Eddie turned his body slightly, and that was enough to have Richie’s eyes landing on his.

“Thank you for the ride.”

Richie looked like the sound of his voice brought him actual physical pain. Eddie understood the feeling when he replied.

“Of course, Eddie.”

Eddie searched inside his mind for something, _anything_ to fucking say to drag this out longer. Why the fuck did this feel so final? It’s not like they’d never see each other again, they still had the same group of friends that all got together any time it worked out. But maybe that was because the thought of having to be around Richie without the promise of something more, seeing him only to be reminded that he couldn’t ever have him again, hurt worse than not being able to see him at all.

“You’ll still-” Eddie swallowed hard, blinking away a fresh wave of tears. “You’ll still come tomorrow, right? Please?”

Richie hesitated, his brow furrowing as he thought it over. Eddie’s heart slammed against his chest.

“If that’s what you want, Eds. I’ll be there.”

“Promise?”

Eddie watched Richie’s leg bounce, his fingers twitching on the hand that wasn’t holding Eddie’s, and he knew he was itching for a cigarette, for something to distract him from this moment. But he refrained, the fingers that were tangled with Eddie’s squeezing tightly.

“Promise, baby.”

And Eddie just couldn’t help it when he threw himself across the seat and into Richie’s arms, burying his face in Richie’s neck to greedily inhale his scent, committing it to memory in case he never got to be this close again. The way Richie pressed his nose hard against Eddie’s head had him thinking he was doing the same.

Richie brought a hand up to his head, weaving his fingers into Eddie’s brown waves and urging him to look up. Eddie did, and Richie looked at him with such intensity it had Eddie’s belly flipping over itself. He leaned in to kiss him, their lips molding together, the heated softness so overwhelming that Eddie grabbed onto Richie’s shoulders in an attempt to ground himself. He felt tears that weren’t his landing on his cheeks, and he used one hand to gently wipe them from Richie’s cheeks with his thumb as they kept their lips pressed together, each breath between them a tiny promise of its own, gasping them in when they parted.

Eddie eventually found himself back in his own seat, his hand curling around the door handle as he looked at Richie.

“I’ll see you tomorrow?”

“Yes.”

He pulled the handle, feeling a cool breeze sneak through the small opening. Eddie couldn’t shake the feeling of something between them shattering, breaking into too many pieces that he wasn’t sure if they’d ever figure out how to glue them back together, and he felt the words tumbling out in a rush.

“Richie, you know that I-” He saw the pain flashing behind Richie’s eyes instantly, and it was enough to have his breath hitching in his throat, cutting him off. Richie nodded once, rubbing his palm over his jean clad thigh as he inhaled a shaky breath.

“I know, Eds.” He dragged his eyes over every inch of Eddie’s face, his hand curling tightly around the steering wheel as if he was trying to prevent himself from reaching over and grabbing him. “Me too.”

For a split second, Eddie really thought about slamming the door shut and telling Richie to go. To just drive them the fuck out of here where they could be alone together and forget about everything else.

But he’d never really be able to forget. Because no matter how much he loves Richie, it doesn’t change the fact that he loves Stan, too. And Stan is about to ask Eddie to be his, has been planning on it for a while. Eddie can’t just walk away from that to take a risk with Richie. Even though the way Richie was looking at him was a convincing argument in itself that it may not actually be such a risk.

In the end, he found himself on the outside of Richie’s car rather than in it, and he stood on the edge of the sidewalk, watching the orange ember ignite when he lit his cigarette. Richie waved at him through the rain streaked window before speeding off, his tail lights foggy behind the smoky exhaust.

Once he was inside, he kicked off his wet shoes and lazily carried himself up the stairs. The tears were already mixing with the cool raindrops on his skin, and he couldn’t be bothered to change into something else before he fell into Stan’s bed and let his sobs fully wrack his body. He curled in on himself, pulling the collar of his sweater up to his nose where he could still smell the faintest scent of Richie there, and he let himself cry until sleep took him, his dreams haunted by two blue-eyed men both whispering _I love you, Eddie. Choose_ me. 

When he woke up late the next day, it was to his phone buzzing where it somehow managed not to fall out of his pocket during the night. Blinking the haze from his eyes, he saw that it was Stan calling, clearing his throat before swiping to answer.

“Hi, Stanley.”

“Hey, love. Did you just wake up?”

Eddie glanced over to the little clock on the nightstand, seeing that it was already nearly three o’clock. He debated lying as he smoothed his palm over the sheets.

“Yeah. I was up kinda late,” he bit his lip, looking down at himself still in his clothes from last night, “got caught up with some stuff on Netflix.” It left a bad taste in his mouth, his hand lifting to press over his turning stomach.

“I figured. I sent you a text earlier, I’m on my way back already. Probably about an hour out.”

That had him instantly going into panic mode, standing up off the bed and looking at the fading damp spot on the pillowcase from his hair.

“R-really? Great! That’s great. I’m so excited to see you.”

“Me too, baby. Everyone is just going to meet us at the restaurant, I’ll pick you up.”

He paced over to the closet, standing on his toes to reach up to the shelf for a fresh set of sheets. It wasn’t worth the risk of Stan noticing a strange smell on the bed when he got home. Whether that be rain or the smell of smoke and leather.

“That’s okay! I’ll just meet you there. I still need to shower and throw some laundry in.” His stomach twisted again, a tiny sigh falling from his lips.

“Are you sure? I don’t mind if we’re a little late.”

“I’m sure! Go ahead, text me when you get there, kay?”

“Okay, baby. I’ll see you soon.”

“Can’t wait.”

He proceeded to yank all the bedding from the mattress, tossing it to the floor before quickly replacing it. His clothes came next, and he couldn’t resist pressing his sweater to his nose once more, only to find that Richie’s scent was nearly gone. Eddie let out a shaky breath before shoving everything into the basket, pulling on a fresh pair of briefs to run downstairs and put everything into the washer. 

Once he was in the shower, he tried his best not to think about seeing Richie, not to think about how it was Richie’s hands washing his hair last night and lathering his body in soap. How he’d never feel that again. But the thoughts were relentless, so he closed his eyes and let himself remember the way Richie always washed him so gently, as if he could shatter into a million pieces and disappear down the drain.

He dressed in a pair of jeans that he knew Stan liked, and a casual gray long sleeve. On his way back downstairs he ordered an Uber, and considered texting Richie, standing at the bottom of the stairs internally debating with himself about it long enough that he was notified of his driver’s arrival. Deciding not to, he shoved his phone into his pocket and ran to the laundry room to switch everything over to dry before slipping his shoes on and making his way outside.

~

Richie considered lighting his third cigarette since he’d arrived just as he saw Stan pull into the parking lot of the restaurant. 

He knew the others were already inside, excluding Eddie, because he’d been the first one to arrive. Which was a rare fucking occurrence. And he wasn’t sure why he’d decided to wait out here for Stan and Eddie to pull up, but he guessed it was because he loved torturing himself. 

When he saw Stan exit the vehicle alone, he shoved his cigarette pack back into the pocket of his jacket and moved to push his door open. He had a fleeting thought of texting Eddie to ask where he was, but chose to run over to Stan instead and feel out the situation. 

“Stan the Man! Welcome back.” He clapped a hand onto Stan’s shoulder, feeling him immediately tense up under the touch. “Shit, sorry. Just me.”

Richie raised a brow when Stan seemed to steel himself before turning to face Richie, his features pinched into a stony expression.

“Hey, Richie.”

Stan was always fairly straight faced, but Richie had known Stan forever. And it wasn’t hard to tell that something was wrong. He shoved his hands into his pockets and took a step back, giving Stan a calculating look.

“Everything alright?” He glanced over Stan’s shoulder toward his vehicle, and he couldn’t stop himself from asking. “Where’s Eddie?”

The scoff Stan let out took Richie by surprise, and he felt his chest tighten a bit.

“You probably know better than me, right?”

Quickly on the defense, Richie straightened his shoulders and raised a brow at Stan.

“I’m sorry?”

“Don’t play dumb, Rich.”

It was easy to figure out what Stan was talking about, but Richie elected to shrug it off anyway. Stan let out an exasperated sigh in return, glancing toward the building before looking back to Richie.

“Listen, Richie. I’m going to ask Eddie tonight, like. As soon as he gets here, if he’ll be my boyfriend. Officially.”

Richie tried to hide the pain on his face, his hands clenched into fists in the confines of his pockets and his teeth gritted when he spoke.

“Yeah, I know.” Stan raised a brow, and Richie quickly tried to come up with something less suspect. “I mean, I assumed as much.”

“I know what’s been going on between you two.”

“I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

Stan let out a breathy laugh, but his face turned serious in a flash and he crossed his arms over his chest.

“Are you going to fight for him?”

“Excuse me?”

“Are you here to fight for him? Because if that’s the case, then,” Stan sighed, his eyes faltering for a moment before narrowing back at Richie’s. “Then fine. I’m willing to fight for him. Because I love him, Richie. Do you understand that? I’m in love with him.”

He understood it all too well. And Stan looked almost. Scared. Nervous. And for the first time in a long time, Richie felt guilty. Because despite all of this, Stan was his friend. He knew it was shitty what he’d done with Eddie, but the chance to have him at all outweighed any negative feelings. Now that he was losing him, negativity was the only thing he could feel. Richie’s eyes softened a bit, which seemed to have Stan deflating.

“Richie, if you’re not going to fight for him then I need you to stay away from him.” Stan’s eyes were pleading now, and Richie thinks maybe he’s starting to understand. Stan is worried that Eddie won’t be able to stop. So he needs Richie out of the picture. “Please.”

And for just a moment, he considered saying no. _No, I’m not leaving. I’ll fight for him. I fucking love him, too._ But he’d been messing with Eddie’s life for too long, and they said their goodbyes the night before. It was time for Richie to let him go. 

“You’re right.”

Stan looked truly puzzled by that, and Richie would have laughed, under any other circumstance.

“W-what?”

“You don’t have to worry about me, Stan. I’ll stay away.” Richie pulled his cigarettes out, shoving one between his lips and lighting it before placing them back in his pocket, a large cloud of smoke seeping out from between his lips. “Congrats. You’re the better man, as always.” He started walking away, but paused in stride when Stan spoke again.

“Do you love him?”

His breath caught in his throat as he looked over his shoulder to meet his eyes. 

“I think I always will.” Another drag, another exhale. “Take care of him, Stan.” He turned back toward his vehicle, not waiting for a response.

He slammed his door shut, nearly gnawing off the filter of his cigarette where he held it between his teeth as his hands clutched onto the steering wheel in a desperate attempt to stop himself from breaking something. His eyes watched Stan’s form walk over to the door, leaning against the wall as he pulled his phone from his pocket.

The sound of his phone vibrating from where he’d left it on the passenger seat had him raising a brow, easily assuming it was something in the group chat. When he picked it up, his heart dropped into his stomach.

_E: hey, just wanted you to know Stan might get there before me_

_idk why just thought I should tell you_

_I wasn’t gonna text you but I couldn’t help it_

_also thank you for last night_

_I know I shouldn’t say this but I can’t wait to see you_

Richie huffed out a smoky breath before tossing the chewed up cigarette butt out of his window. He clutched his phone so tightly that he heard something crack, and he nearly threw himself back out of the vehicle. He so badly wanted to tell Stan that Eddie was his, too. That Eddie would never be able to let Richie go. That Stan could never have him completely.

But even after everything, even after finally admitting that he was in love with Eddie, that it wasn’t just some fucking stupid thing they were doing this whole time; the thought of betraying Eddie’s trust and hurting Stan like that just didn’t sit right. And Richie knew it was his own fault. If he’d just said it sooner, maybe he’d have had a chance. 

So he clicked out of his texts with Eddie rather than replying, and tossed his phone back to where it had previously been, glancing back over only to find Stan watching him as he sped off. He only wished he could rip his own heart out and smear it on the pavement right next to his broken promise.

~

_S: I’m here, love_

_E: Okay! I’m in the Uber now_

_S: Can’t wait to see you_

Eddie’s leg bounced as he stared out the window. He wondered if Richie was already there, too. If he and Stan were talking. He sighed in annoyance when they got stuck at a red light, the restaurant in his eye line, taunting him. Richie still hadn’t replied to him, and it had his stomach tying into knots.

Stan was waiting at the door when Eddie stepped out of the vehicle. A smile tickled his cheeks upward as he ran over to him, landing between his outstretched arms. He curled his own around Stan’s middle, pressing his face into his chest as he took a deep breath. He giggled when Stan squeezed him tightly, biting his lip when a hand came to lift his chin and he was met with Stan’s twinkling eyes.

“You’re late.” He teased, sliding his hand up to cup Eddie’s cheek and place a firm kiss against his lips.

“I know, I had to get the laundry in the dryer. But I’m here now.” Eddie slid his arms up and around Stan’s shoulders, pulling him back in for another kiss. He’d missed him, he always did. And he was desperate for the other man to fill up his senses, to use him as a force field against the impending unease he was about to experience. Stan slipped his fingers between Eddie’s as he dropped a kiss onto his forehead, unwrapping Eddie’s arms from his shoulders and leading him inside by the hand.

Eddie smiled cheerfully when he saw all of his friends already seated at the table, barring Richie. Which wasn’t unusual, he was late for everything. 

But after almost half an hour of just drinks and debating whether or not to continue waiting for Richie when he didn’t respond to any of their group texts, they’d all decided to order their food without him. Eddie’s appetite had left him as the empty chair between Mike and Ben taunted him from across the table. 

His leg had started bouncing again under the table, and he startled when the gentle weight of Stan’s hand came to rest on his thigh. Eddie turned to him, finding his soft gaze was already studying Eddie. And it felt like a curtain had draped around them as their friends were all distracted with each other. Stan’s other hand lifted to tuck a piece of hair behind Eddie’s ear, his thumb brushing softly over his cheekbone. He was looking at him with such ardour that it had Eddie’s heart thumping heavy inside his chest.

This was it. He knew by the slow blink of Stan’s eyes and the tiny breath he sucked in between his parted lips that this was it. 

So why was Eddie still thinking about Richie? About the fact that he still isn’t fucking here, and it’s been almost an hour. Where the fuck is he?

He almost missed it when Stan asked. The ghost of his voice winding through his ears and piercing his thoughts. He looked up at Stan from under his dark lashes, his cheeks flush when the words finally registered in his mind.

“Eddie, I love you so much. And it’s okay if you’re not ready to say it. But…” Stan’s warm breath waved over his cheeks. “Are you ready to be my boyfriend?”

His eyes faltered, glancing over to the empty seat whose presence seemed more apparent than anyone else’s. Stan’s hand fell to his chin, urging him to look back. When Eddie did, he inhaled a shaky breath, because suddenly everything just made sense.

Whether Richie bailed on purpose wasn’t really even the root of it. It’s the fact that Richie had made Eddie a promise. He fucking _promised._ And even that wasn’t enough for him to show up, or at the very least reply to a fucking text. And it hurt. His belly felt like it was caving in on itself at the weighty realization that maybe Richie just didn’t care enough. Maybe he did love him, but that wasn’t enough for him to show up, to keep his promise. Or maybe he did it because he thought it’d be easier on Eddie, to remove himself entirely. But that wasn’t Richie’s decision to make. Tears stung the backs of Eddie’s eyes despite the smile he pulled on to his face for Stan. He clasped both of his hands around Stan’s that was still resting on his thigh, a shaky breath finding its way between his lips. 

Eddie knew now that there was never a choice. It would always be Stan, because Stan didn’t hurt him the way Richie did, and he never would.

“Yes.” Stan’s eyes lit up, his thumb stroking just below Eddie’s bottom lip. “I would love that, Stanley,” a soft chuckle tumbled up from Stan’s chest, his eyes going glassy as Eddie leaned in just the slightest bit. “I love you, too.”

Warm tears trickled between their lips as they kissed, Eddie’s palms sliding flat over Stan’s chest to land on his shoulders, tilting his head to the side to deepen the kiss. The sounds of their friends' gentle cheering was lost on him as he melted into Stan. He wanted to crawl into his lap and curl up there, where Stan would hold him and keep him safe and Eddie could learn how to let go of the past. To let go of Richie and finally give himself fully to Stan. 

He managed to stay in his own seat, though, and once they broke the kiss, they wiped each other's tears away and laughed softly as their friends patted them on the back; as Beverly gave Eddie a soft, reassuring smile from her spot across from him.

His fingers stayed laced with Stan’s under the table where they rested on his own thigh, Stan’s thumb never ceasing its soothing movements over his soft skin. They cast eyes at each other all throughout dinner, in the middle of eating and in between questions from everyone about Stan’s new job and what this all meant for them and if Eddie would be moving in with him.

And if Eddie’s eyes continued to drift to that lone chair, if his mind still continued urging him to wonder why Richie would break a promise that he knew meant so much to Eddie, that was fine. He was sure these things would pass with time. 

But that voice was unyielding.

_Something’s wrong._

_He wouldn’t hurt you like that._

_He knows how much this meant to you._

Stan broke him from his pondering when he lifted Eddie’s hand to his lips, placing a soft kiss to the back of it. Eddie smiled softly at him, and he trusted that the day would come when that smile would ease all of his aches; when he could look into Stan’s gentle blue eyes and not be reminded of Richie’s icy ones.

Because trust was imperative in a relationship, and Eddie knew his trust would always be safe in Stan’s hands.

**Author's Note:**

> thanks for reading! let me know what you think; I may or may not have a third part in the works. your feedback fuels me <3
> 
> find me on tumblr @blueeyedrichie


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